


Accursed Jealousy

by lilnaugrim



Series: Winged Thedas [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood Magic -mentions, Circle Tower, Cullen Has Issues, Cullen Rutherford has PTSD - Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder, Dorian Has Family Issues, Dorian Has Issues, Fight or Flight, First Fight, Fluff and Smut, Love Spirit, M/M, Redcliffe, Seriously Cullen has issues, Seriously Dorian has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilnaugrim/pseuds/lilnaugrim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen seeks to end Dorian and Inquisitor Rengar Trevelyan's old relationship to continue his with Dorian. Dorian doesn't know how to handle a relationship and Cullen runs away in a fight/flight panic. Dorian tries to find him to talk things over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accursed Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Just rereading through and I noticed that I wrote that Cullen was older than Dorian is. In reality, they are both 30 in the game. I thought about changing it but I'm just going to leave it for now. You can ignore that line if you wish. Happy reading folks!

  “Hey Curly, what’re you up to? You look suspicious,” Varric greeted Cullen as he walked by, looking around.

  “Me…suspicious?” Cullen asked him, a little smile adorning scarred lips as he looked around still.

  “Yes…very shifty, you’ve got something up your sleeve…don’t you?” Varric asked, noting the flick of Cullen’s feathers as he showed his irritation with the dwarf.

  “Absolutely not, have you seen Dorian around?” Cullen asked him.

  “Sparkler? Not recently,” Varric shook his head as he wrote on the parchment before him. “Hey…tell me something…are you and he…together?” he dared to ask, grinning when Cullen looked down at him sharply.

  “What? No! Of course not! We’re just friends; he’s nice enough to oblige me to a game of chess every now and then, even if he does cheat!” Cullen defended himself, getting worked up. “He was supposed to meet me though and now he’s late…” he grumbled.

  “Mhmm…” Varric smiled, knowing. “I saw you two out yesterday flying…sky flirting and all,” he turned it into a full grin when Cullen’s eyes widened.

  “No!” Cullen snapped, “we weren’t…”sky flirting”. I take flights to clear my mind and help with this ridiculous Lyrium withdrawals and he’s been studying it—trying to find a cure is all!” he continued to be defensive; only proving Varric’s point.

  “Yes, well…he shouldn’t be studying you so closely then if you didn’t want to rise suspicion…but that’s none of my business, now is it?” Varric grinned and went back to writing.

  “Ah! Amatus, there you are! Did you need me?” Dorian emerged from the stairs to smile at Cullen.

  “Ah, yes, to your library please. I have something to discuss,” Cullen shot Varric a glare before he left with Dorian at his arm.

  “Something to discuss? Is that all?” Dorian asked him, grinning in that sly way he did when he knew Cullen wanted more than just to talk. Cullen didn’t answer him but just pushed him up the stairs and over to the nook that he had claimed. The corner was dark enough so that when Cullen pushed Dorian into it, it almost looked like it was simply one person looking at the books in the corner. Cullen pulled Dorian up and into a hard kiss as he simultaneously pushed him against the wall. “Talk…he says,” Dorian grinned between a kiss, teasing the Commander.

  “Quiet,” Cullen warned him before he proceeded. Heated kisses shared between work and meals that always left them both with burning desires for each other. Cullen would later oblige the mage in his own roost and then Dorian would sneak out well before dawn lest they be discovered. It’d been two weeks since Cullen’s Lyrium withdrawals that first started the charade between them. Dorian had still mentioned that the Lord Inquisitor stopped by frequently to talk with him; Cullen had planned to change this. A grope to Dorian’s backside left the mage nearly panting, this was much further than Cullen usually took their little hideaway kisses. Cullen’s other hand dragged up his body; too much leather in the way unfortunately, but eventually he entangled it in the beautiful black hair and gripped it to pull his head back an expose his neck which earned him a moan. The neck had always been Dorian’s weak spot; he gripped Cullen tightly so he didn’t just melt into the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, Dorian saw movement into his nook.

  “Dorian—oh!” the Lord Inquisitor stopped when he saw the pair of wings that weren’t the mages. “Oh, I’m sorry Commander, I was looking for—“ the Inquisitor looked between the two when Cullen stepped back from a disheveled mage that he’d been looking for. Cullen looked to Dorian coyly.

  “Ah…was this your plan all along amatus?” Dorian grinned as he pushed off the wall to greet the Inquisitor. The lord looked between the two of them, clearly seeing what had been going on.

  “Of course not, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cullen shrugged, folding his arms in a challenging stance towards the Inquisitor.

  “Dorian, what is the meaning of this? I thought we had something?” Inquisitor folded his arms as well, challenging the Commander. His wings were still out and it bugged Cullen; it only made the Inquisitor seem like he was trying to challenge Cullen all the time now. The black wings were flashy, he did admit, and beautiful, but damn the Maker if it didn’t make him seem like he was a prick.

  “I apologize if I lead you on Lord Rengar,” Dorian simply said. Cullen noted that he seemed nervous about this, he wondered why since the mage was always so outgoing.

  “What do you mean ‘if’?!” Rengar asked, nearly growling to Cullen.

  “Oh ah—please, can we talk about this elsewhere? I would prefer you not draw attention!” Dorian stepped between the two of them, flashing his wings in warning.

  “You? Not draw attention? Ha! That’d be a first!” Rengar laughed at him.

  “Please, I beg that you keep quiet Ren, let’s just find another place, yes?” Dorian looked to Cullen for help.

  “We can talk in my office,” Cullen offered.

  “No! We can talk in my quarters,” Rengar shook his head.

  “We’ll talk in the war room, go! Both of you!” Dorian pushed them along. The men grumbled but they went down the stairs and to the other side of the castle. Cullen looked over to Varric who was still writing at his table but watching them with a grin. He knew this wasn’t exactly what Cullen had planned for. “Go, before I throw you two in the sparring ring,” Dorian pushed them towards the room with growing impatience.

  “I wouldn’t mind,” Cullen told him as they passed Josie who was working diligently.

  “Cullen!” Dorian ticked at him but grinned. “We do need our Inquisitor you know, I can’t risk you killing him simply for me,” he smirked.

  “I’m right here you know…” Rengar grumbled at them.

  “It gives you a leg up in the competition,” Dorian smiled at him. Finally through the large wooden doors, Dorian threw them in for dramatic measure before he closed them. “Alright, let’s talk this out like civil people, yes? No bloodshed on my behalf…” Dorian smiled to the both of them.

  “When exactly where you going to mention that you were taken?” Cullen asked him, arms folded again as he leaned against the war table.

  “And what would you have me say amatus?” Dorian asked him. “That I’ve been swept off my feet by another? But who, pray tell Dorian? I’m sorry, I cannot, it’s a secret because in Ferelden we can’t divulge anything about ruining the dear Chantry boy!” he went on with the fake conversation between two people.

  “You could have made something up, you’re good at lying,” Cullen shrugged.

  “You hurt me Dorian, how could you do this?” Rengar asked him, playing the guilt card. The man turned away from them, he let his wings droop a little as he shuffled around. It seemed to work too.

  “No, no, no! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t plan for this, please, don’t be mad!” Dorian went to him to comfort.

  “Dorian!” Cullen chastised him, he could see right through the Inquisitors game. “He’s just trying to guilt you into being with him!” he went forward to try to steer Dorian away from him.

  “Commander, remove your hands from me!” Dorian growled at him, scaring Cullen into obeying him. He was so afraid of losing his boyfriend after just beginning their relationship. Cullen backed away from him, the headache stirring already, his heart beating too quick for its own good. “I’m sorry Ren, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Dorian told him again, going around to his front to frame his face and kiss his forehead. Cullen didn’t know whether to fight or flee from the scene, it was too overwhelming.

  “How can I forgive you Dorian? I thought that—“ Cullen didn’t hear the rest, he fled from the scene; slamming the big door as he left. The headache hurt too much and it was beginning to blur his vision—or were those tears? He couldn’t tell.

  “Hey Curly, I guess that—hey, are you okay?” Varric saw him as he stormed out towards the entrance of the castle. Cullen ignored him and left, he needed room to think and to calm himself before he did anything brash. Off into the cold air he went, flapping hard to put as much distance between himself and the castle as he could.

                What would happen now? Would Dorian still be with him? Would he choose the Inquisitor over him? Everything hurt too much and so Cullen just focused on flying as far away as he could. He flew through the mountain pass where they had come from in the first place after the destruction of Haven. He didn’t know why he wanted to go that way instead of towards the Emerald Graves or the Exalted Plains but he just went. By the time the night was falling, he was simply gliding over the landscape in search of a place to rest for the night. Tears had subsided but he was still too angry to go back; he feared that he might harm the Inquisitor and he would surely go back to taking Lyrium before he did that to the Inquisitor. The feelings were all too real after spending two weeks with Dorian in pure bliss and harmony.

  “Damn Andraste!” Cullen shouted into the wind, scaring a couple of birds from their nests in the trees below. He sighed heavily, feeling defeated before he started on his descent towards the ground. He found that he was beyond Haven now and headed towards Redcliffe where the circle once was; a former home. He soon landed on the island and looked around the ruins, there would likely be someone still there but he didn’t care. Into the circle tower he went, he looked around before venturing forward upon feeling no magic present any more. It was a strange feeling, so empty and bare when it had been so full of life before, teaming with magical buzz. He walked around his former home, easily finding the old Templar roosts, he was happy that his old roost was still intact. When he deemed it safe, he curled up into his nest to find sleep for the night if he could; his body was shaking from Lyrium withdrawals again. How he missed Dorian’s skillful hands.

 

 

  “ _Kaffas_ …” Dorian looked up when the door slammed shut on the two of them. “Now I’ve done it…” he let go of the Inquisitor as he rubbed his temple and let his fingers run through his hair once.

  “You could just forget him, Cullen is scarred and frankly, he’s much older than you are,” Rengar shrugged.

  “And that makes a difference, how?” Dorian asked him, pacing as he tried to figure out what to do. “Age is no difference to me, young or old, we’re all the same. And if you think that I’m a bed of crystal grace myself, huh! You’ve got a surprise coming for you!” Dorian shook his head.

  “I didn’t say that we all aren’t scarred, I simply meant that Cullen has had more of a past than most of us,” he said.

  “I’m quite aware of that Ren,” Dorian stopped to look at him. “You seem to think that I would just give him up in a heartbeat for you…” he questioned, tilting his head with the glare.

  “Well, we have been seeing each other longer,” Rengar shrugged to him. “I know more about you than he does, why should I not think that? It’s not as if you’ve ever led me to believe otherwise,” he growled as he circled Dorian.

  “I’ve tried dropping hints the last two weeks but apparently you’re too thick to catch them! Did you not think anything of it when I stopped visiting your roost for two weeks?!” Dorian snarled back in turn. “And now you’ve ruined a perfectly good relationship with your antics—“

  “ _My_ antics?!” the Inquisitor growled. “What do you mean, _my_ antics?! He’s the one who told me that you needed to talk to me! Naturally, I thought it must be important seeing how you ignored me for two weeks!”

  “I must go find him. He looked as if a headache was coming on,” Dorian ignored him and went to leave.

  “He’ll be back, just give him time to stew,” Rengar told him.

  “You clearly don’t know the Commander very well,” Dorian shook his head. “He’s probably already miles from here in the mere minutes I’ve wasted talking with you,” he spat before he left the room.

  “Sparkler! What did you do to Curly?!” Varric growled, blocking his way out of the castle.

  “Ha! What did _I_ do?! He’s the one who set up this mess!” Dorian growled at first. He rubbed at his temple again and sighed when Varric didn’t move, Bianca clutched in hand and ready to fire. “Maker…Varric, what am I do to?”

  “You’re asking _me_ for relationship advice?” Varric huffed.

  “You knew then?”

  “Of course, it’s rather hard not to notice when you two are out there sky flirting daily,” Varric rolled his eyes. “The Commander left in a huff, he looked like he was about to cry honestly—never seen him like that before.”

  “Did you see which way he went after?” he asked, still wary of Bianca who was pointed at his feet now but still there.

  “Unfortunately, I didn’t, but maybe one of Leliana’s scouts could help?” he suggested.

  “Thanks Varric, I truly appreciate it,” Dorian nodded and went to go around the dwarf but Varric stopped him again.

  “If you find him Sparkler, you’d better take care of him,” Varric warned him.

  “That was my intention,” Dorian nodded, no hint of a quip or malcontent in his voice, it shocked the dwarf as he left to find a scout. Varric growled when he saw the Inquisitor leave the war room and stomped up to him.

 

 

                Dorian flew hard once he found out which way Cullen went. Leliana herself gave a hint as to where the Commander may have gone, she wasn’t entirely sure but with the direction he had headed, it was a good guess. Dorian had thanked her profusely and left in a hurry. He’d packed on his layers of clothes for the winter air, he’d taken along some sandwiches and his staff with him, just in case. It’d been a long time since Dorian flew with such a purpose and with vigor. He flew low and he flew fast as he followed Cullen’s trail. He could practically see where the ex-Templar had flown, he could sense it. It was nearing the morning hours when Dorian finally came upon the island tower. He sensed the old magic there and shivered in the cold morning hours. He was tired and exhausted but he knew Cullen had taken rest here.

                Upon landing, Dorian had to gag, there was blood magic and death here—or at least, there was before. He hated the smell of blood magic and had to stop himself from vomiting. When he finally found Cullen’s trail again, he followed it into the building, the tower loomed in the bare morning light. The stars still littered the sky above him. He followed the trail through the ruins and finally to the barracks where he found Cullen pacing in front of the nests that were lined in a row. He watched the Commander pace, unaware of his presence just yet. His smile faded when he thought about the cause of this situation; his inability to handle things like he should. He wasn’t sure why the two men couldn’t just live in harmony like they did in Tevinter. Dorian waited, trying to formulate a plan so as he didn’t startle Cullen. In his pacing, Cullen eventually stopped and looked around.

  “So,” Cullen started and turned to face Dorian, “now what?” he asked, angry still. Dorian feared this.

  “I’m…sorry,” Dorian spoke up, he stayed in the doorway, he didn’t want to intrude on Cullen’s space just yet. “I…Maker, I ruined this, didn’t I?” he asked. Cullen sighed and rubbed his head, trying to find the pressure points to alleviate the headache that clouded his mind and vision.

  “How did you find me?” Cullen asked instead and sat at the edge of one of the nests. The other nests were nearly empty of pillows; Cullen must have taken the pillows from them and built up his own nest with the ones that he deemed were useable still. Dorian stayed in the door as he spoke.

  “It was easy really,” he shrugged, “though I didn’t expect you to go so far and to a circle tower?” Dorian looked around, grimacing at the dust and mold that had accumulated in the building. “But you, as one who is an ex-Templar, have a unique scent.”

  “What does being a Templar, have to do with it?” Cullen asked him, looking up from the nest.

  “I can smell you.”

  “I took a bath!” Cullen retorted which made Dorian burst into unadulterated laughter.

  “Oh my dear Commander, I meant the Lyrium. Even though the pure liquid is scentless, when it mixes with a Templar, the man gives off a very strange and different scent. Even those who no longer take it,” he motioned to him, “have a scent all of their own. That is how I was able to follow, the scent sticks around for a day or so before leaving,” he explained.

  “Oh…” Cullen nodded, eyes shifting away to the dim room, morning light was just beginning to peek through the windows. “I um…I’m sorry for leaving—that must have seemed childish,” he rubbed at the back of his neck with his hand.

  “With the way I acted, I’m surprised you didn’t flee all the way to Denerim and appeal to King Alistair himself,” Dorian gave a small chuckle. “I um, I am sorry too…I shouldn’t have done that to you. I’m still…still very new at all of this—the relationship thing. I ask it but I doubt you’ll give it to me, when you can, forgive me for not tending to you the way I should have,” he explained himself. “I…I didn’t know what to do. On one hand, yes, Lord Rengar and I had been seeing each other for a month before I was with you but even then, it was only a few times that we had slept with each other,” he tried to make things right from his position in the door. Cullen got up at the mention of sleeping with Rengar and went to pace around. “I’m sorry; I thought you should know at least. By the end of the month, it was already ending but…clearly, he didn’t get the message—please, Cullen, I’m truly sorry!” he tried to petition his way into the room. Cullen stopped in front of what would be the fire and stayed there for a while. Dorian was unsure if he was allowed into the room or not yet but he didn’t want to press his luck; he wanted to save this, to make it right.

  “It’s all my fault,” Cullen finally told him exasperatedly.

  “No, no, no!” Dorian rushed forward but stopped when he reached Cullen’s backside. He wanted so badly to lay his hands on the Commander and help his headache but he felt like he couldn’t touch him now. “No, Cullen, please, it wasn’t your fault!” he tried to reason with him. Cullen shook his head and covered his face with his hand; tears following with his sadness. “Please, don’t cry amatus, it’s not your fault!” Dorian pleaded.

  “I…I was the one who set it all up, the meeting! I was the one who didn’t tell you to break it off with him!” Cullen cried. Dorian was never very good at handling people who were upset. His heart dropped when he did lay a hand on Cullen and the Commander moved away from him. Dorian pulled his hands back to his chest as if he’d just touched fire and burnt himself. “It’s all my fault,” Cullen whimpered as he went to sit back on the nest edge, he leaned his elbows on his knees with his hands covering his face in despair. Dorian looked to the fire and cast out his magic to light it, he didn’t miss Cullen’s jump at the light.

  “What can I do to make you see that it is just as much my fault as it is yours?” Dorian asked him. “I reacted poorly and pushed you away, I don’t know how to handle this and I’ve hurt you because of it,” he said as he sat down in front of the fire and pulled his knees up to his chest. He felt lost in the world for the first time, this relationship thing was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Dating Cullen was like stepping on egg shells; one wrong step and everything was downhill from there. He’d already experienced it once when he spoke about blood magic and here they were again, in the same room but miles from each other. “Please, Cullen, talk to me?” he whispered in the large room. Cullen sniffled and wiped his eyes before he looked away from Dorian and simply leaned his elbows on his knees instead as he let the tears flow freely.

  “I…” Cullen started. “I’m so used to people leaving me,” he finally said. Dorian’s heart dropped and beat quickly at the mention, he knew the feeling of being left and how badly it stung. “Everyone has always left me, the Hero of Ferelden left me, my Knight-Commander left me…why should you be any different?” he looked to Dorian. Dorian didn’t realize he had his own tears streaming down his face, especially when the Commander looked at him. He could see just how badly Cullen had been hurt in the past and it made him want to curl up with the Commander and make all the troubles go away. “When you turned me away and went for the Inquisitor…that was it, you left me, why should I stay?” he burst into fresh tears and looked away from Dorian’s kohl smudged face. “I couldn’t handle it and I’m sorry,” he shook his head. Dorian couldn’t move, he was stunned and his heart hurt too much to do anything but stare at Cullen through blurred vision; was this what Lyrium withdrawals felt like?

  “I just…I wanted to show the Inquisitor that you…that you were mine and—“ Cullen went on.

  “I am yours!” Dorian interrupted him. “Why do you think I’m here now? If I had left you, would I be here?” he couldn’t stand it. He pushed himself up to join Cullen and kneel in front of him. “Amatus, I never meant to hurt you and I did, I hurt you deeply and I am so sorry,” he hoped that it was as heartfelt as he needed it to be. He framed Cullen’s head and pulled himself up to kiss his forehead. Cullen wasn’t objecting and so Dorian pressed their foreheads together to try to emulate his love for Cullen. “I am an expert at ruining everything good in this world,” he whispered and shook his head.

  “You weren’t the one who set us up,” Cullen whispered back.

  “That doesn’t matter!” Dorian yelled at him and let go. “It was me who should have told Rengar off in the first place and it was me who turned you away! Don’t you see?” Dorian asked him, his kohl had smeared badly now and Cullen couldn’t help but find it endearing at least. “Cullen, don’t hurt yourself because of my mistakes, punish me instead,” he pleaded again. “Please, I deserve to be punished and…and…” Dorian hiccupped with his tears. Cullen cracked a small smile at the hiccup.

  “You don’t deserve that Dorian,” Cullen shook his head and whispered to him. “We’re both new at this and…and we don’t know each other well enough yet,” he lifted a hand up to push Dorian’s tears away. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me and I was foolish for leaving. We have a lot to learn about each other,” he nodded. Dorian pushed his head into the hand and grabbed it with his own to keep it nearby in case Cullen had any thoughts of leaving again.

  “I’m sorry,” Dorian whispered again, he kissed the hand repeatedly and held it close. Dorian had to stop when Cullen said something that he never expected to hear.

  “I love you,” Cullen whispered to him. Dorian’s eyes blinked open as he looked up to the Commander in shock. Love? How could he? It had only been two weeks. “I know that you won’t say it back and that’s okay,” Cullen went on, “I don’t want you to say it to me until you are ready, do you understand?” he asked him. Dorian had to nod, what other choice did he have? “But I love you so much Dorian, that is why I’m so afraid to lose you—why I had to let the Inquisitor know that you—“ he looked away in embarrassment. “That you are mine and I am yours,” he glanced back to Dorian as he thumbed at the shorn hairs above his ear again; one of Dorian’s favorite spots to be pet. The mage’s face seemed a little less frightful and shocked as he let the words soak in.

  “I—“ Dorian cut himself off as he closed his eyes. “You are right in saying that I can’t say those words just yet…too often I’ve said them and I’ve been thrown to the wayside because of it. I know that you wouldn’t do that to me amatus, but…I can’t help the feeling…the dread that haunts me,” he explained himself, he felt like Cullen needed to know. “But I do like you—so much more than I thought I could ever! Maker, we both have our issues and I hope that we can work around them. I’d do anything for you Cullen, I’d go anywhere for you. I would walk physically through the fade and back for you if I had to,” he whispered it, his face still shoved in Cullen’s hand. Cullen pushed Dorian back gently and slipped down to pull them close and hug his mage. Dorian latched onto him and breathed out a ragged breath of contentment in Cullen’s hold.

  “I’m sorry about this whole…situation. I think…before we do anything else, we should talk about things that we never want to talk about again,” Cullen suggested him. Dorian nodded, he didn’t want to keep skirting around subjects that might hurt Cullen or send him into a headache.

  “I brought some food if you’re hungry,” Dorian pulled away to look at his boyfriend. The mention of food made Cullen’s face brighten up as he started to smile.

  “You know me so well,” Cullen chuckled lightly as he pecked Dorian’s cheek affectionately. “Shall we eat and talk in the nest?” he asked before he tried to hide a yawn; he hadn’t slept a wink since he left.

                The two set up the nest and prepared the sandwiches that Dorian had brought. The room was significantly warmer now that the fire was roaring in the hearth. Cullen crawled into the nest first and settled in, Dorian took off his boots to be more comfortable in the nest. Cullen followed suit and sat up to remove his shoes and sighed when he laid down again. Dorian smirked at him and crawled into the nest sensually to curl up against Cullen’s warm body. Dorian purred happily against him, happy that he could touch Cullen once more.

  “Let’s not…get too comfortable…” Cullen said. It was then that Dorian realized just how stiff the man beneath him was. Dorian sat up and away from Cullen, he feared that he only hurt Cullen more. Dorian looked down at him; nervous and anxious as he sat back at the edge of the nest as Cullen sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you had to run away, I just meant…maybe we should…have some space?” Cullen also sat up to explain himself.

  “Oh…okay,” Dorian felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest as he stayed there. This had to be it, Cullen was already pushing him away, he was done with the Tevinter. He knew the signs all too well and tried to keep his composure. They’d just talked about this, right? Cullen wanted him to stay, right?

  “So…things I never want to talk about again…” Cullen started, he fiddled with the edge of his tunic as he stared at it. He didn’t seem to be noticing Dorian’s panic. “When I first was initiated into the Templar order…I was stationed here…” he went on. Dorian was wringing his hands and his wings were sweating with his nerves; there was a noticeable sheen on his feathers now. “It was nearly my first assignment and Maker…I fell for the most beautiful woman I’d ever set my eyes on,” Cullen rubbed at his aching head, he felt horrible. “She was a mage, of all things—no offence Dorian,” he glanced to him. He finally noticed the frightful look on Dorian’s face. “Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?” he asked, trying to get onto his knees to near his boyfriend.

  “You…” Dorian had to wet his mouth, he found himself shaking as he tried to repress his emotions. “You want to leave me,” he said, he meant it as a question but it came out as a statement.

  “What? Why do you think that?” he asked. Dorian backed away from Cullen as he approached, he ended up falling out of the nest quite ungracefully to fall flat on his back with his wings out in shock. “Dorian!” Cullen dashed forward to try to catch him but he missed by a long shot, he quickly climbed out of the nest to pull Dorian into a hug as the mage began to cry.

  “You’re going to leave me!” he gripped Cullen hard, holding tightly. Cullen’s eyes widened at the grip; Dorian’s fingers were digging into an old war wound. “You’re going to leave!” Dorian sobbed.

  “Dorian—Dorian! Please, let go of my arm!” Cullen panted at the pain as he tried to pull Dorian’s hand from him. It only spurred Dorian into scrambling away from him instead. Cullen was conflicted but he ended up jumping to pin Dorian to the floor in his panic induced flight. “Dorian! What in Andraste’s name has gotten into you?!” he asked. Dorian screamed something in Tevene that Cullen couldn’t decipher, before he knew it Dorian flung him away with a spell that sent him flying into the wall. Cullen hit it hard and fell to the floor.

Dorian was hyperventilating with the spell but he faltered his escape plan when he heard how hard Cullen had hit the floor. The man seemed to have been knocked unconscious with a groan. Dorian tried to calm himself, seeing Cullen on the floor seemed to slow down time around him as if it were one of his spells. His heart pounded and begged him to fly away but how could he? He’d just hurt Cullen once again and after Cullen had just professed his love for the Vint. But he also said he wanted space, was it possible that both could exist the same? Love and space? All he knew was that he hurt Cullen, he hadn’t meant to do it. It was a fear response that he didn’t mean to complete, the way that Cullen had grabbed him had reminded him too much of his father and that night.

  “Cullen…?” Dorian asked from his sat in the middle of the room, Cullen didn’t move at the words. Dorian’s mind raced with fears that could possibly come true. What if he’d injured Cullen so severely that he died? “Cullen!” Dorian exclaimed as he scrambled up to crawl to Cullen who was still unconscious. “Amatus, I’m so sorry!” he grabbed Cullen, he closed his wings and flipped him to his side to check for injuries. When he only found a bump at the back of Cullen’s head, he tried for a healing spell or at least a soothing one to try to revive his boyfriend. Cullen immediately breathed in sharply and coughed as he woke up. Dorian waited until Cullen fully awoke after a few minutes, the man groaned and curled into a ball on his side with the pain in his head. Dorian was no healer but he did his best to find magic that would help heal him. He was better suited with necromancy if he was honest with himself.

  “Dorian?” Cullen whispered, trying to see his boyfriend but he wasn’t able to move his head much just yet.

  “I—I’m sorry,” Dorian whimpered to him, he felt pitiful and awful. “I…I didn’t mean to hurt you, amatus, I…you grabbed me and…and—and I—“ he bent down to rest his forehead against Cullen’s shoulder to ask forgiveness. “It just…that night with my father…he grabbed me the same way…I’m sorry!” he tried to cease his sobbing.

  “I’m sorry,” Cullen whispered and tried to pat at Dorian’s head but he couldn’t reach. “You were grabbing my wounded arm and it hurt, that’s why I asked you to pull away,” he explained from his curled position.

  “ _Kaffas…_ ” Dorian swore. “We’re a mess, aren’t we?” he breathed out in partial relief now that they both understood what caused the freak out.

  “I’d say so,” Cullen chuckled. The pair stayed quiet for a while, Dorian kept his forehead pressed against Cullen’s arm, holding him gently.

  “I…I know you said you wanted space but dear Andraste, all I want to do is lay in your hold for a while…please?” Dorian begged him. Cullen cleared his throat from being quiet.

  “I…I do agree, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I just didn’t want us to jump right back into being lovey since we need to…clearly we need to talk still.”

  “I concur but I’d rather do so curled in your arms,” Dorian kissed the clothed shoulder.

  “I’m not so certain I can move just yet,” Cullen groaned when he tried to move.

  “You leave that to me, amatus,” Dorian purred quietly and tried another healing spell targeted at the base of Cullen’s head. This time it actually worked! Dorian was pleased with himself as Cullen was able to get up and they moved to the nest.

                Finally, finally they were able to eat their sandwiches and express their stories. Dorian curled into Cullen’s embrace while they talked; it was much more comforting this time. Cullen told him about the Hero of Ferelden and how the Desire demon twisted his mind. Dorian cooed to him and tried to console him when Cullen wept about how the Hero came back and it still haunted his mind. Cullen then took a break and Dorian went on about the details of his own story. He talked about how his one night stands never amounted to anything, how he didn’t know how to have a relationship. When he was done, Cullen went on to tell him about Kirkwall and his knight-commander. They were both emotionally exhausted by the end of it that they both fell asleep in each other’s arms. Dorian had wiped off all his kohl and Cullen wrapped his wings around the both of them to keep them warmer in the dorm. The fire was roaring still but Dorian was shivering with his exhaustion.

                The veil to the fade was thin here. Dorian found himself sitting in the fade as spirits wandered around him. Since the meeting of Solas, he’d begun to notice more and more of the spirits that were around him, not just the demons. Some took notice of him and others cared not to look; minding their own business as they walked around. He wished that Cullen could be here with him, to feel the comfort that he felt as he sat there.

  “Oh, my, my,” a spirit mused behind him. Dorian whipped his head around to glare at its accusing voice. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve felt anything as strong as this,” the spirit came around to sit next to Dorian.

  “What, my power?” Dorian scoffed, “I bet it’s been some time for any of you spirits around here to feel what courses through my veins as I am from Tevinter,” he was proud of himself and the power that he had. But the spirit shook its head with a smile.

  “You boast, but you do not see it,” it spoke as if it knew something that Dorian did not.

  “Of course you can’t see it, but you can indeed feel it,” he shrugged, what was the point of this conversation?

  “You are blinded by your past, it holds onto you and doesn’t let go. You cannot look forward without looking back and seeing those who have left you,” the spirit became somber as it looked into his past and felt the sorrow that Dorian held within him.

  “What are you talking of spirit?” he asked, brow furrowed with his confusion.

  “You, my friend, are in love,” the sprit shone brighter with the word, happiness emanated from it, it warmed Dorian’s heart at the mention.

  “Love?!” Dorian scoffed more. “I like the silly man but I surely do not love him!” he shook his head, “I can’t love him…”

  “But he has so recently told you that he adores you and that he loves you, how can you turn that away?” it asked him.

  “Easily, I should never love,” Dorian shook his head. He knew the tears that he shed were not real but he wiped them from his face anyhow.

  “As I said,” the spirit nodded, “you are blinded by your past. You cannot move forward with the Commander if you cannot let go of your past.”

  “How can I let go?!” Dorian roared, he was quick to his feet to pace around; frustrated. “How can I forgive all who hurt me? All who left me?” he asked, hugging himself as he walked.

  “That is your mission for the moment. Learn how to step pass all the hurt,” the spirit shrugged to him.

  “But it’s not so easy!”

  “Of course it is not so easy,” the spirit chuckled. “You think of it as if it were some piece of parchment that you could crumble and burn away, but it is not,” the spirit followed him into standing to stay eye level with the mage. Dorian stopped his pacing to look at the spirit, had he just given him the answer? To think of it as an object to literally step passed and move forward? Could it really be that easy? He thought to himself. The spirit smiled at him, it was warm and inviting, much like one of Cullen’s smiles. The look melted Dorian’s heart and he had to place a hand over it to stop it from fluttering so much.

  “If…I accept his love,” Dorian began his question, “do I have to tell him that I love him back so soon?”

  “That is your choice; you tell him when you are ready. This doesn’t mean that you can’t still show your affections for him,” the spirit nodded.

  “Maker…is it really so simple?” Dorian mused to himself.

  “We all face problems on our own and solve them in our own manner. You have to find your own solution and you will know when you’ve found it,” it nodded, the small smile still there. Dorian began to smile happily, yes, this was the answer.

  “I am glad I left home, for all that I love Tevinter…I would have never experienced spirits the way Solas does, I would have never met Cullen…my dear Commander…” Dorian mused to himself, he felt warm and knew this was what love felt like. His smile grew more and more as he thought about Cullen, the warmth in him expanded and covered his body, it made him tingle all over. All he wanted to do was hold onto that feeling forever, to never let it go now that he’d found it.

                The sun had crept into the dormitory when Dorian woke up some time later. He guessed that they had slept for at least six hours if not a little more judging by how high the sun was and it’s new angle. He was hungry again and grumbled that the sandwiches were all gone. Cullen’s wings were still around him, comfortable and warm. Dorian grinned and gently laid a kiss to Cullen’s shoulder. Cullen reacted to it with a huff before he stretched out his legs and pulled his arms in close to Dorian to flex the muscles and wake them up from their slumber. He made little dragon noises as he stretched his body out again, Dorian was right, he never would tire of watching Cullen wake from sleep. Finally, after all the stretching was done, Cullen settled back in against Dorian and yawned. Dorian cringed at the smelly breath but chuckled when Cullen wet his mouth and swallowed the extra saliva and finally opened his eyes tiredly.

  “Hey,” Dorian spoke softly so as not to spook Cullen. Cullen moved his head to look up at Dorian before he gave a lazy smile, closing his eyes longer during each blink.

  “Hey,” Cullen answered back, his eyes were still puffy from crying his heart out earlier but he looked like he was in better spirits now. “You look happy,” he noted before he nuzzled himself into Dorian’s body which made the mage giggle. Cullen grinned as he continued his nuzzling which sparked Dorian’s laughter.

  “Amatus! Stop that!” he grinned ear to ear as Cullen kept pulling and nuzzling and started to tickle him. Cullen grinned when he soon found out just how ticklish Dorian was! The mage was wiggling to try to get away from the Commander as the two of them laughed and giggled in their play. Dorian kept calling for him to stop as they rolled around in the nest. Finally, Cullen figured that Dorian had enough when he had tears streaming down his face, but this time they were happy tears from his laughter. Cullen changed to caress Dorian instead, grinning as he leaned over him and wiped the tears from his eyes as they breathed heavily.

  “I am happy,” Dorian finally answered him as he looked up to his boyfriend. “I am so happy that my father tried to change me and I ran away from it all, so happy that went to Redcliffe and eventually…found you in Haven,” he picked his own hand up to cup Cullen’s face for a moment before he brought him down into a gentle kiss. Cullen kissed him, his lips capturing Dorian’s bottom lip a few times before he pulled away with a small smirk.

  “I still love you,” Cullen told him softly.

  “I know,” Dorian grinned, he still wasn’t going to say it yet but he knew that Cullen knew. Cullen grinned back to him and pulled Dorian into a hug and sighed with utter contentment. Dorian started to preen some of Cullen’s feathers and straighten them out. Cullen pulled from his content hug to look down at him.

  “What’re you doing?” he asked, holding his wing open to see what he’d been touching.

  “Preening,” Dorian shrugged. “From your reaction…I must ask, you people in Ferelden do preen yourselves, do you not?” he asked, worried.

  “Of course!” Cullen snorted, “I just…never had someone else want to do it to me is all,” he confessed to him. Dorian grinned at the knowledge.

  “Well…it’s high time that someone jump on that then!” he smiled. Dorian sat up to try to take feathers into hand and preen them but Cullen pulled his wing away from him. Dorian frowned and gently touched the closed wing; petting it to release oils that would protect the wing from the elements. “You seem nervous amatus, do you not want me to preen you?” he had to ask, he didn’t want to pressure Cullen into something he wasn’t ready for.

  “I…uh, well…” Cullen stumbled over his words as his face started to turn red. “Doesn’t…I mean, if one person preens another…doesn’t that usually…usually lead to…um…to sleeping...uh, together?” he asked and rubbed at the back of his neck with his nerves.

  “Sex?” Dorian looked down at him with a raised eyebrow as Cullen nodded his embarrassment. “Of course not, just because I preen you, does not mean that anything is committed,” he explained. He swore he saw a look of disappointment in the Commanders face. “Of course…” Dorian continued, “if you happened to want sex in exchange, that wouldn’t deter me,” he shrugged nonchalantly and continued on with his pettings as he kept his eyes away from Cullen to make his own decision. This was one topic that Dorian wanted Cullen to decide, Dorian was plenty ready for sex but he knew the Commander was a little more sensitive when it came down to it.

  “Would…would you like to?” Cullen asked him quietly. Dorian looked down at him and smiled gently as a mother would to her young.

  “That is up to you darling,” he laid back down to be eyelevel with him. “If you aren’t ready then I don’t mind waiting,” he made sure it was known. Cullen seemed to be thinking about it as he looked Dorian over tentatively but eventually looked back to his eyes to smile.

  “Can we?” he asked, his hand snaking to Dorian’s hip where he started to massage it gently.

  “I would love to, amatus,” Dorian grinned and leaned forward to press his lips against Cullen’s. Cullen quickly embraced the mage and grabbed his plump ass to keep him against the Commander. Dorian’s moan was toxic to Cullen, beautifully toxic. “Mm, Cullen…” Dorian whispered when the man started to undo the buttons on his tunic. “Wait…” he grabbed the hands. Cullen looked up at him; worried he’d done something wrong.

  “What?” Cullen asked him.

  “We don’t have any oil…although…we could go without, it’s not…not as satisfying,” Dorian said before he huffed and made a face at the fact.

  “Actually…I think I know where to get some, unless it was smashed in the fight…” Cullen picked his head up to look over the nests. “Uh…one of the other Templar’s here…he was known to find himself in the company of other men, both mages and Templars,” he explained himself before he got up to leave the nest. Dorian whined at the heat loss but Cullen gladly stretched out his body properly; wings and all.

  “Makers breath…you’re beautiful, you know that?” Dorian breathed out when Cullen’s wing were outstretched. Cullen looked down to him with a small smile, that wonderful smile.

  “Maybe I do…” Cullen smirked as he walked away and towards a nest. Dorian scoffed at him but he chuckled all the same, he really did love this man. Cullen knew all too well, what he was doing to Dorian, or at least he had inklings of what he did to the mage when Dorian’s hand shot down to his own crotch to soothe himself. Cullen found the old nest and rummaged through, he hummed disappointment when he found no vial in or around it. Perhaps it’d been trampled on when the event all started? Cullen flew up to another rack of nests to look through some of them but alas, no luck was to be had. “Damn the Maker…” Cullen swore to himself quietly as he looked around.

  “If I wasn’t so impatient, I’d just say that we could wait until we were back at the keep…” Dorian called up to him; touching himself gently.

  “I don’t think I could wait myself,” Cullen shook his head as he jumped down to join Dorian in the nest with a pout. “No luck,” he huffed.

  “Well…we could always—“ Dorian went to say but his stomach chose the exact moment to growl heartily in its discontentment without food. Dorian looked down at his stomach and then to Cullen with a sheepish smile. “Uh…maybe…there wouldn’t happen to be a kitchen somewhere nearby, would there?” he asked.

  “You’ve just eaten not too long ago!” Cullen exclaimed but smiled all the same. “Besides, would anything actually be good in there after ten years?” Cullen exited the nest and helped Dorian up the same; the tent in his breeches hadn’t left yet. Cullen directed them to put their shoes on just in case of broken glass.

  “It’s possible, besides, it’s worth a look anyhow. I’m starving!” he exclaimed as he hopped over to grab his staff and hook it over his shoulder. Cullen seemed to be saddened that they were leaving the nest. “I’m sorry darling, I didn’t mean to ruin the moment, we can have all the kinky sex we want later…after I’m fed,” Dorian chuckled before he took Cullen’s hand in his and laced his fingers through. Cullen smiled at him and settled with his wing around his boyfriend before they walked off towards the kitchen.

                Dorian would gag when they came too close to congealed blood, Cullen did his best to steer them away from the area’s that he could see, but it was almost useless. Through the rubble, they finally made their way to the kitchen. Dorian threw fire into the hearth to light the room and the candles that lay about.

  “There might be some salted fish?” Cullen suggested as they went to rummage around the kitchen.

  “I’d rather Iron Bull drive a spear through me,” Dorian replied as he went to check to see if there was a cold box that might have kept its seal properly. Most of them were enchanted with magic to keep them cold and sealed for a long time. Cullen grimaced at moldy bread and old fruit remnants. Dorian found a cold box and crossed his fingers in hopes there was something good in there for them. He opened it up, expecting the worst though. The seal had been broken some time and the items inside were spoiled into compost. Dorian shrieked and slammed the lid down when he caught a whiff of the spoiled items. He silently gagged and moved on. “Nothing over here,” he called to Cullen.

  “Nothing here either,” Cullen sighed. Dorian found a larger ice box and grumbled, hoping it would contain the goodies that he wanted. He was greatly disappointed when the box was empty, the seal hadn’t been broken but nothing was stored inside. His wings drooped when he walked over to Cullen; the tent in his breeches gone from the overload of foul smells.

  “There’s nothing here,” he sighed.

  “We can always stay in Redcliffe for the night, I have a couple coins on me,” Cullen suggested as he took Dorian into his hold where the mage cuddled him.

  “I’m…not so certain they’d let me back in the city,” Dorian sighed.

  “The Inn keeper always liked me, unless the keep has changed, he should remember me,” Cullen tried to cheer him up.

  “It’s worth a shot, I do suppose…” Dorian grumbled.

  “Come on, let’s go while there is still light out,” Cullen pulled him along. They attempted to avoid the bloodier sections of the castle and back up to the dormitory where they collected their coats and finally left the tower. Dorian watched Cullen; he seemed sad to leave the circle tower but there was nothing that Dorian could do to help him. Cullen lead the way to Redcliffe, smiling at the town when they could see it over the lake. “It looks beautiful from up here,” Cullen nodded with contentment.

  “I agree,” Dorian smiled to him. They made their way over and finally landed at the edge of the town. Its people bustled around to make their coin. The two stuck close together but did not hold hands. Dorian was nervous to be in this place and rightfully so, some who recognized him would growl and grumble at him, some tried to spit on him. Cullen shielded him with his wing and put his arm around him for good measure. “I can take care of myself you know,” Dorian snapped at him quietly as they walked through to get to the inn. He caught himself and looked to Cullen shyly from his gut reaction.

  “I’m sorry…it’s just instinct,” Cullen took his arm away. Dorian caught his hand and threaded their fingers together, a small smile.

  “I know, I’m just…” he sighed, “not used to that yet. I can’t be mad at you for trying to protect me darling,” he welcomed the wing around him. Cullen smiled in return, happy to hear Dorian accept him. Finally, to the inn they went. It was bustling inside as well, this part being the bar at least. Cullen ordered them a single room for the night from the clerk. The clerk looked to Dorian sidelong before he nodded and accepted Cullen’s coin.

  “Dinner will be on me, I’ve a couple crowns we can spend,” Dorian patted Cullen’s arm. Cullen seemed confused that Dorian wanted to pay for dinner but he couldn’t refuse, the mage did have more money than he. “I’ve been after a good bottle of wine lately,” Dorian confessed he reason he wanted to pay for dinner.

  “Just one?” Cullen chuckled at him. Dorian scoffed at the accusation but he had to grin, he certainly wouldn’t refuse another bottle if it presented himself. He and Cullen had often spent nights drinking, even before their relationship started. It had been a good time waster for the two as well as a stress relieving session. The two eventually made their way up to their room where the dinner and wine they ordered would follow up shortly as soon as it had been made.

  “Hm…their nests are a little…lacking,” Dorian looked at the nest for two in the middle of the room. Cullen grinned and kissed Dorian’s cheek. “You’ve spoiled me amatus,” Dorian chuckled before he lit the hearth of the room to get the fire roaring.

  “Do you have to light every fire we come across?” Cullen asked him, shedding his coat to hang up as well as his armor. Dorian followed suit and leaned his staff in the corner again and hung up his coats.

  “Does the heat bother you?” Dorian asked, lowering the fire in the hearth to accommodate his lover.

  “Well…I am accustomed to the cold, the heat isn’t entirely unwelcome but it sometimes feels like you’re roasting me on a spit,” Cullen grinned.

  “I apologize, I’m used to the heat, it’s much warmer in Minrathous,” Dorian told him. “I’ve been called a desert orchid before, I love the heat so much,” he chuckled.

  “What’s an orchid?” Cullen asked. Dorian looked up to him in surprise; it was as if Cullen had never left the east before!

  “It’s uh…well, it’s a beautiful flower that grows on trees or on wood-like substances and has wonderful colors,” he began to explain; he never had to explain what an Orchid was before! “It can sometimes be a little finicky if it’s overwatered or…if it gets too cold,” he said, watching Cullen start to smile at the description.

  “So…you?” Cullen asked him.

  “Yes, essentially,” he nodded and kissed the Commander’s cheek with affection. The two made themselves comfortable; fluffing up the nest and the pillows was Cullen’s job. He went to it proudly and situated the pillows so that they were more comfortable, Dorian was happy to test out the new arrangement, it wasn’t as nice as Cullen’s nest back home but it would suffice. Dorian realized that he just referred to Skyhold as his home, oh wonderful a thought! He smiled as he thought about how he’d love to spend the rest of his life with Cullen, even after the war.

                Finally, their food was delivered and Dorian’s stomach was silenced. They talked and ate their food and Dorian nearly downed the whole bottle of wine minus a glass he’d given to Cullen. Cullen was happy to share in the wine, this bottle was much tastier than the last one he’d found in Skyhold. Dorian was talking about some of the spells he’d just discovered while working with Alexius and his son. Cullen knew a bit about the time magic but Dorian went on about it happily; he didn’t care that Cullen didn’t understand too much of it. By the second bottle, Cullen was feeling fuzzy, it wasn’t related to Lyrium but the wine, he was happy to hold onto his babbling mage and kiss his neck lazily. Dorian had eventually put the bottle down to accept his lover’s lazy kisses and licks to turn it into something more. Cullen was halfway into pulling Dorian onto him when Dorian stopped him and looked around.

  “Y’don’t suppose someone left any oil fr’us?” Dorian asked, he was clearly feeling the drink but he wasn’t drunk, just a little tipsy was all. Cullen looked around and huffed; he didn’t want to stop now but he knew that having oil was much easier on both parties.

  “I dun’know,” Cullen slurred and then giggled at his words. Dorian looked down on him and grinned at the giggle. “You go look, I can’t get up,” Cullen told him with a big ol’ smile on his face.

  “You’ve gotta let me go!” Dorian tried to pry the hands off him when he tried to get up. Cullen did release him but pouted at him. “You stay,” he bent down to kiss Cullen’s red lips before he stood up to find any oil. Cullen giggled to himself; he really wasn’t drunk but he was happy all the same and it enhanced the drink’s feeling and power over him. He wanted to remember this though, remember how he would have sex with Dorian for the first time. He hoped that they could do it many more times after. “Of course we can darling,” Dorian replied to him with a smile as he came back over.

  “Did…I say that out loud?” Cullen asked him, slightly horrified.

  “Yep!” Dorian grinned and crawled back in, his usual tactfulness was gone with the drink.

  “Whoops…” Cullen shrugged, he didn’t care that much if he was honest, he just wanted to remember.

  “And we can…fuck all you want,” Dorian whispered to him as he let his hips grind against Cullen’s. Cullen moaned to him and gripped Dorian’s hips tightly as he pulled his knees up to give the man a cradle to rest in. “Come on amatus,” Dorian grinned as he showed the vial of oil, “undress me,” he commanded. Cullen did his best to undo the tunic gently; Dorian was a little too impatient and ended up helping him to remove their clothing items quicker. They were both naked and hard at the prospect of having sex. Cullen was over top Dorian now and between his legs as he smiled down to the mage.

  “So um…how do I start? I mean…I know how to do it after but…I don’t want to hurt you?” Cullen asked him.

  “Ooh…I do love putting on a show,” Dorian grinned as he took the vial of oil and sprinkled some onto his fingers. “You just watch amatus, let me show you how it’s done,” he dropped his hand between his legs and Cullen sat back on his knees to watch what was happening. What a sight this was, Cullen had to try to stave off his orgasm when he saw Dorian’s fingers circle his own puckered entrance and then gently intrude on the ring of muscle. The finger disappeared fairly quickly into the hole as Dorian pushed and moved himself so he could reach higher. “Mm, like this, Commander,” Dorian bit his lip as he looked down to Cullen. “Just need to stretch the muscles a little before I’m ready. My ass doesn’t accommodate big dicks as quickly as a woman’s vagina does,” he explained. At his language, Cullen’s face went red all the way to his ear tips. “But—mm, feels so good when your fingers are in me, stretching me out to hold you,” Dorian whispered and arched his back a little.

  “May I…try?” Cullen asked him which made Dorian grin ear to ear.

  “Of course darling, I’ll let you know if you’re doing it wrong,” Dorian nodded as he removed his finger and gave the vial to his Commander. Cullen did as he’d seen the mage do and coat two of his fingers. “That’s it, just start with one, I’ll tell you when you can add another,” Dorian dried his fingers off before he put a hand up behind his head to relax and help Cullen along. Cullen was tentative but he wanted to do this for Dorian. He gently prodded a finger into the man and watched for any signs of distress. This was the first time Cullen had been inside of anyone else’s body, how tight and warm Dorian felt to him. “A little more darling, no need to be so gentle, though I do appreciate it,” Dorian egged him on with a small smile. Cullen obeyed him and pushed his finger up higher into his ass before he experimented and took it out before pushing back in. Dorian moaned quietly which encouraged Cullen to do it more. Soon Dorian begged for another finger, telling him that he was ready for it. Cullen was cautious in adding his second finger, how in Thedas would they both fit? He was surprised to see the second slipped in fairly quickly and Dorian bit his lip again as he started to push down on the fingers. “More, please! More, I can take more!” Dorian moaned to him, there was a slight whine mixed in with it that moved Cullen into doing as he asked.

  “Oh Maker, I’m ready, please, please fuck me, yes?” Dorian asked him as he panted. Cullen was able to get three fingers into him before he asked. Cullen was wrecked himself, he needed to get on with it just as badly; his cock leaking pre-cum quickly.

  “Yes, yes Dorian, I will,” Cullen purred to him as he slicked up his cock with the oil and dried his hand off so he could grip the hips of his mage. He knew what to do here, or at least he knew the basics. He was sure that Dorian would let him know what was good and what wasn’t so great. He lined himself up and gently pressed the head into Dorian; watching this only made Cullen harder as he joined Dorian in panting lightly and moaning. “Oh Maker!” Cullen breathed out when he was further into him. Dorian moaned loudly before Cullen lurched himself up to capture those wonderfully pink-bitten lips to kiss him as he pushed the rest of the way in. Dorian breathed in sharply with surprise but wrapped his arms around the Commander. Cullen had outstretched his wings to keep him from overheating in the warm room and to keep his balance as he started to do as Dorian asked and thrust in and out of him.

                Cullen was correct in assuming that Dorian would let him know if it was good or not. The mage praised everything about Cullen; his strength and stamina, his—apparently—larger than normal cock, how fast he could fuck him, how he could probably pin Dorian down and have his way with him, how he knew exactly where to kiss when Dorian wanted it. Dorian essentially wouldn’t stop talking unless Cullen’s lips were on his but Cullen didn’t mind so much, it made having sex less awkward for him. Cullen couldn’t imagine having sex with someone who was as quiet as he; he would surely die of embarrassment!

  “Dorian, I—I don’t think…I can last too much longer,” Cullen breathed into his ear a few minutes later. He prided himself on his usual stamina but he wasn’t used to this kind of workout, he was closing in on his end sooner than he wanted it. He wanted to pleasure all of Dorian but he could barely keep up with the mage.

  “Oh darling, that is quite alright! You cum when you need to babe!” Dorian smiled up at him before he clamped down on Cullen’s cock with his muscles. The commander swore in Andraste’s name as he orgasmed. His muscles quivered with the exertion as he bowed his head to pant with completion. Oh how wonderful he felt.

  “I—I’m sorry,” Cullen pulled himself out to curl into Dorian’s side with his tiredness.

  “Don’t be amatus!” Dorian tried to pull him up to kiss him at least. “Would you…like to watch me jerk off?” he asked quietly. Cullen nodded and so Dorian was quick to get a hand on himself. Cullen watched to learn as his body came off its high. Dorian moaned with the quick tugs on himself with his right hand. It wasn’t long until Dorian followed Cullen’s suit and came on himself with a ragged sigh of contentment. “I love to be watched, to put on a show, it makes me all hot and bothered,” Dorian lazily dragged his left hand around Cullen’s face to soothe him and caress him. Cullen glanced up to him and smiled before he gave the mage a smooch.

  “I like to watch, helps me learn if anything else,” Cullen chuckled and looked at him fondly. Dorian grinned before he swiped up some of his cum to lick it off his finger and swallow it. Cullen watched with intensity, did that really taste okay? He’d experimented on his own before but never found any desire to it. “Is this…part of the show?” Cullen asked.

  “It’s always part of the show, I wouldn’t do it otherwise,” Dorian winked at him.

  “Oh okay, so it doesn’t really taste good then, yes?” Cullen had to ask him. He was at the point where he wasn’t so embarrassed to ask simple questions as long as he didn’t have to name body parts, he would be okay. He was curious as all get out, though.

  “Not always,” Dorian confessed, “but as I said, yes, I like the show,” Dorian grinned as he patted Cullen’s cheek affectionately. Cullen nodded and sighed contently as he curled into Dorian’s side once again to settle. He lifted a hand to trace around the tattoos on Dorian’s pectoral. Dorian turned his head to kiss Cullen’s hair affectionately with a smile at the fingers over his breast.

  “Can we sleep now?” Cullen asked him, he was worn out from the long day they had even though they had slept only a few hours ago, he was exhausted again.

  “Of course amatus, let me clean us first,” Dorian exited the nest to find him a small cloth to clean up his ass, hand, and stomach with as Cullen made himself and the nest comfortable again. Dorian smiled at how peaceful Cullen looked as he came over with the cloth to clean off his nethers as well. Dorian threw the cloth into a small basket before he came back to crawl into the nest and cuddle into Cullen’s embrace. “Hm, do you think we should send word to Skyhold?” he looked up to Cullen when the thought came across his mind.

  “I think I saw one of Leliana’s recruits in the bar earlier, likely they already know that we’re safe,” Cullen told him.

  “Mm, good, I’d hate to leave your arms now,” Dorian nuzzled himself completely against the slightly larger man. “And yes, we’ll have to get another proper fuck in when we’re home and in your comfortable nest, Maker, it’s going to be wonderful!” he grinned when Cullen huffed and rolled his eyes.

  “Sleep Dorian,” Cullen commanded him as he wrapped his wing around them again with the blankets over top to keep them warm; primarily Dorian. Dorian huffed at him but settled in just as quick to find sleep came easily.

                The night felt long to Dorian but it was one of those restful nights where he was happy to find sleep. He woke a few times during the night when Cullen would move or murmur something in his sleep, but otherwise, he slept straight through the night. He was the first to wake again in the morning and grinned to himself. No nightmares had followed him through the night, he had been keeping track of his nightmares as of late. It seemed that whenever he slept with Cullen, no nightmares would persist, however if he were alone, they would haunt him as before. Cullen was the first person to drive the nightmares away and Dorian’s body thanked him for that, he felt well rested and energetic when he awoke.

  “Cullen, darling?” Dorian tried to wake him, he was hungry for breakfast. Cullen grunted at him but otherwise didn’t wake just yet. “Come on amatus, I’m hungry! Do you want anything to eat?” he asked him, shaking him to try to wake him. Cullen grunted louder this time; angry, as he turned from Dorian and flipped onto his other side. The flip caused his wing to push Dorian away and the mage huffed at him. “Fine, I shall order you something and you’ll eat it even if I have to force it down!” Dorian told him as he got up from the nest; he took the blanket with him out of revenge but soon realized that Cullen hadn’t even used the blanket previously. Dorian rolled his eyes to himself but still wrapped the blanket around him and went to the door to find a serviceman. Dorian debated on ordering the worst the cook could offer him but he sighed and shook his head to himself, he could never do that to his love. Instead, he ordered them a large breakfast to gear up for the flight back. It consisted of some eggs, fancy salted pork strips, heated bread with butter and some porridge. The meal came with a complimentary glass of milk for each of them; Dorian thanked the serviceman and took the food into the room to set near the nest where Cullen seemed to be waking. There were no cute dragon noises from him this morning or any wonderful stretches, instead, Cullen woke with reddened eyes and a sour look to his face.

  “You look terrible darling,” Dorian told him as he sat on the chair and ate part of his breakfast as he waited. Cullen grumbled something to him but sat up to rub the sleep from his eyes. “I have breakfast here for you,” Dorian pointed at it. Cullen looked to it and nodded before he stood up to go use the chamber pot in the corner of the room. “I suppose we’ll head back today then?” he tried to make simple conversation. Cullen only grunted at him again and nodded. Dorian watched him in wonder of what was wrong, there were no usual signs of a headache from Lyrium withdrawal, this was something different. Cullen finished his business and moved to at least put his smallclothes on, Dorian was fully dressed already. “Come here amatus, allow me to feed you?” Dorian asked him as he moved to sit in the nest. Cullen sighed and joined him in the nest as he rested between Dorian’s legs to recline against him. Dorian first went with the salted pork strips and gently fed his lover before he would ask any questions. Cullen seemed to eat reluctantly as if he had no appetite; Dorian had to wonder if it was anything to do with that night. He waited patiently as he fed his lover but didn’t force anything on him. Cullen ate the warmed bread and the eggs but refused the porridge. Dorian put the bowl aside and offered the glass of milk, Cullen took it himself and drank half of it before he offered it back to Dorian who replaced it on the table again.

  “Are you going to brood all day or will you tell me what is on your mind eventually?” Dorian asked him, playing with the soft blonde hair. Cullen sighed deeply with the pettings and relaxed against the mage at the incline.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…didn’t mean to be like this,” he told him quietly.

  “I understand amatus, I just wanted to know if it was anything I did to you, perhaps from last night or—“

  “No! No, absolutely not! No,” Cullen shook his head and looked up to Dorian, “no, it wasn’t that at all in fact,” he made sure it was known. “It’s just the nightmares…they still come and go occasionally,” he explained it to him, looking away again.

  “I see,” Dorian leaned forward to kiss the top of Cullen’s head affectionately as he wrapped his arms around him possessively. “You know, it’s a funny thing really,” Dorian began when he sensed that Cullen didn’t want to talk about his nightmares. Cullen tilted his head to let Dorian know he was listening. “I used to have terrible nightmares, horrible images would haunt me. Some of them were real and others were enhanced versions of what really happened. I get these most nights but each time I’ve slept with you, be it here or home, no nightmares follow,” he smiled into Cullen’s hair with the confession. “It is as if you merely whisk them away from me and I truly appreciate that. I know you know what it feels like to wish death upon witnessing a nightmare, how you never truly sleep in the night. To not have that feeling,” Dorian faltered, “to actually sleep through the night without the usual interruption of those terrors, it is wonderful,” he smiled again and nuzzled the blonde hair.

  “It’s only with me?” Cullen asked him quietly.

  “Only with you amatus, Rengar never stopped them and neither has anyone else. I don’t know why it is like that, but I am eternally grateful,” he kissed the mop of hair again with his smile.

  “I’m glad to help you,” Cullen moved his head away so he could smile up at Dorian and beckon him down for a kiss. Dorian obliged and planted his lips against the Commander’s, it was simple and innocent but there was love behind it, a love that they both felt. Dorian smiled at him and kissed his nose before he grinned and chuckled. “It helps me to know that you are feeling better as well,” Cullen nodded to him.

  “Mm, yes,” Dorian nodded, “you know what else would make a feel wonderful?” he whispered near Cullen’s ear. Cullen looked at him like a lost puppy until Dorian went on. “What say that you and I get one more fuck in, before we have to leave?” he asked and gently bit Cullen’s ear lobe. The Commander pulled away in surprise but quickly righted himself to flip over and cover Dorian’s body with his. Dorian grinned at Cullen’s enthusiasm and quickly went about getting his hands all over his body. Cullen was essentially humping Dorian’s leg as they made out; tongues against tongues and moans muffled between. Dorian egged him on; wanted him to hump him and rub off against him.

  “Dorian Pavus!” a voice the two knew so well, yelled into the room and broke the door down with magical lightning. Cullen yelped and quickly grabbed the blanket to hide under at Dorian’s side as the Inquisitor appeared along with a small party behind them. “I’m not done with either of you two!” he growled and advanced towards them. Dorian was going to say something but Cullen was already up and blocking his view as he swooped down to get his breeches at least.

  “Don’t you dare touch him!” Cullen snarled at him as he fastened his breeches and Rengar stopped in front of him. He saw Cassandra, Leliana, and some other recruits outside of the room, peeking in at the three of them.

  “Back off Rutherford! I want you out of my keep for good! You’re nothing but trouble!” Rengar roared at him.

  “If it weren’t for me, you and everyone else would be dead in Haven!” Cullen snapped back at him and balled his fists.

  “Maker damn the both of you!” Dorian got out of the nest. “You simply couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you Rengar?!” he stood between the two of them to prevent any falling fists. “You can’t get it through your head that I’m not with you any more, we were never even a pair! All you wanted was a quick fuck and then you pushed me out!” he folded his arms; he was just as angry as they were. “And then you have the gall to make me feel bad about myself and my beginning relationship with Cullen. Cullen treats me like a real human being, not just some fuck boy!” he snarled.

  “I treated you like a human! I gave everything to you! I got you your amulet back—“

  “Even though I told you not to!”

  “—and this is how you forgive me?! Why don’t you both just leave the Inquisition! I don’t need either of you!” Rengar yelled and moved away for dramatic effect.

  “You cannot kick either of them out Lord Inquisitor,” Leliana entered the room to defend them. “We need all the power we can muster, if you turn them away simply over a quarrel like this then you are not fit to lead the Inquisition,” she told him firmly.

  “And who are you to tell me—“

  “Clearly your head has inflated with all this power,” Cassandra stepped him with a sour look to her face. “What happened to the man we all once knew? The man who took on every challenge and defeated it with such vigor? The man who was wise and forgiving. I once forgave you for what happened at the conclave. Surely you can forgive Dorian now. Cullen did not know of your relationship as far as I am aware, he should not be punished,” she told him. Cullen nodded to her as he donned his tunic as well now and buttoned it up. Dorian was off to the side, rubbing his temple with the mess he’d gotten them into.

  “But he stole the one thing I loved,” Rengar said softly, the guilt card again. Cullen looked to Dorian for his reaction, Dorian looked up to Rengar but his eyes soon switched to Cullen’s as despair was written in them. Cullen offered his arms to him but Dorian sighed and shook his head. He didn’t move towards Rengar either, he simply stayed his grounds before he spoke.

  “I am truly sorry Rengar, I really—truly did not know your feelings towards me. Every time…every night…I thought…you just…you never told me,” Dorian found it difficult to speak. Cullen knew why now, why he would think that Rengar was only after his body instead of a relationship, it was all he knew. “But I can’t go back and I am truly sorry,” he spoke, everyone looked to him, including Rengar. “I have something special with Cullen and for the first time, I intend to keep it as long as I can. I came to Skyhold for a new life away from Tevinter and I found this quirky boy from Ferelden who is just as messed up as I am,” he smiled to Cullen who looked sheepish, “maybe even more so,” he chuckled. “I wish you had told me before Rengar, perhaps it would have been different but…I cannot leave Cullen now, after all we’ve both invested…I am sorry,” he hoped it was as heartfelt as he intended it to be.

  “I too am sorry Lord Inquisitor,” Cullen spoke up, Rengar looked to him with a little more anger. “I didn’t realize you and Dorian were an…item. I’ll admit, it sparked some jealousy when I found out that you and he spent more time together but uh— _Maker_ , I’m very sorry, I didn’t meant to upset so many by professing my love for Dorian,” he stumbled over words; he was clearly embarrassed but he wanted to let him know.

  “I too am sorry for not telling you sooner Dorian, forgive me for being an ass?” Rengar looked to him.

  “Maybe one day in the future,” Dorian nodded, Rengar seriously look hurt and turned away from the two of them. It was a moment or two before anyone spoke again, it was Rengar who initiated it.

  “I want you two to leave Skyhold,” he spoke softly. Cullen was the first to react to it, he blamed the oncoming Lyrium headache as he lashed out and punched the Inquisitor in the jaw. Everyone lunged to stop them.

  “Commander!” Cassandra yelled out.

  “Lord Inquisitor!” Leliana accused as Dorian lunged to grab Cullen away from his former love.

  “Cullen! What in Thedas is wrong with you?!” Dorian growled to him quietly and pulled him away as Cullen breathed heavily with his anger.

  “You can’t take our home from us just because you don’t like something,” Cullen told him. “You cannot be so selfish that you’ll throw away one of your best mages and Commanding officer!”

  “Yes, I can!” Rengar growled back at him, threatening to throw a punch back but Cassandra caught him in time.

  “The three of you, we’re going back to Skyhold this instance to sort this out like grown men!” Leliana insisted.

  “Fine,” Cullen spat at her and moved away to gather his items. Dorian was just as angry at him for throwing a hit to the Inquisitor and so on their way back, Cullen was happy to fly at the back of the party. Rengar and Leliana lead them on while Dorian stayed near the middle. Cassandra next with the other recruits and Cullen at the rear. He felt horrible for hitting the Inquisitor, but at the same time, the man deserved a good lashing.

Cullen’s head was fogging as they flew towards Haven and the Frostback Mountains. He was able to make it to just before Haven before he started to succumb to the headache. He flew lower and lower as he slowed from the flock in front of him, no one seemed to notice. He didn’t care either, he needed to rest. Without warning, his wings gave out from him and he fell from the tree tops through the branches to land in the snow covered ground. One of Leliana’s recruits was the first to notice that something was wrong with their little group. He rushed up to Leliana to whisper the discovery in her ear before settling back into his formation. Leliana looked back to Dorian and dropped back to fly with him.

  “The Commander is missing,” she told the mage. Dorian quickly looked underneath him and behind him to see what she was talking about. Indeed, there was no Cullen following them.

  “ _Maker_! Where did he run off to now?!” he growled as he stopped flying to look around.

  “My scout didn’t see but he only just noticed he was gone,” Leliana stopped with him which caused the rest of the flock to eventually stop to see what was going on.

  “Is there something wrong Leliana?” Cassandra asked.

  “Commander Cullen has gone missing,” she informed her.

  “Missing? How long ago? Did anyone see him leave?” she looked alarmed as Rengar came to join their circle to see what the fuss was about.

  “No, my scout only noticed he was missing,” Leliana shook her head.

  “Do you…think perhaps he is still angry with us?” Cassandra looked to Dorian.

  “I honestly do not know what is going on with him other than his abandonment issues,” Dorian shook his head.

  “Well, let’s go back to see, perhaps he simply stopped to rest?” Leliana suggested. She directed her scouts to fly out as far as they could in the next ten minutes to see if they could spot him. The four of them went back out to fly around the tree tops to see if they could spot the Commander. Dorian was grumbling about Cullen flying off again, had he known that he would be this much trouble, he wouldn’t have sought after him! Well, he knew that was a lie he told himself, but he still couldn’t get over the sudden childish manner in the man, what had gotten into him? That was when Dorian happened to look down and noticed the tree tops were not covered in snow in one certain spot, as if something had brushed against them. He flew over to it and gasped when he saw the Commander below, curled up onto himself.

  “Cullen!” Dorian dove through the tree branches; he was whipped by one of them in the cheek but he didn’t feel it due to the coldness around them. He quickly landed next to the quivering and whimpering Commander who was clawing at his scalp and murmuring about the ache in his head. “Quiet amatus, I’m here,” Dorian quickly went to using his magic to soothe the man. With the first touch, Cullen’s wings dropped down to still themselves from their previous thrashing. The next, his arms relaxed and the murmuring stopped. “There you are darling, just rest now, it will pass soon,” he pulled Cullen into his arms to hold him at an incline and keep him warm in the cold snow around them. Cullen patted Dorian’s thigh in a sign of thanks, he was trying to speak but nothing was coming out. Dorian went to pressing on the pressure points and applying the tiny sparks of electricity to soothe the muscles that had contracted and bunched in the pain.

  “Commander! Dorian!” Cassandra came through the trees, the other two in tow. “Is he alright?” She asked him as she folded her wings and looked around to find potential enemies.

  “He’s run himself exhausted is all, another attack,” Dorian spoke softly as if the loud noise would hurt Cullen’s ears.

  “I still say he should have never stopped taking the Lyrium,” Rengar huffed and folded his arms. Leliana smacked his arm and glowered at him.

  “Can he fly soon?” Cassandra asked, kneeling by the two of them.

  “Give me about ten minutes and I should be able to get him back on his feet again at least,” Dorian nodded.

  “Good,” she nodded and looked around, “these woods are no longer safe since we left Haven,” she sighed. Cassandra directed Leliana to gather her scouts once they came back to then scout out the area. Cassandra set up a parameter for the time and Dorian lit a fire near the two of them to keep warm. Rengar had been on scouting duty as well but came back before Leliana and Cassandra did. Dorian tried to ignore the man as he pinched a pressure point in Cullen’s hand between the thumb and the forefinger, the webbing there had a lovely point in it. At the pinch Cullen bolted awake and sat up. Dorian caught the man and brought him back down to lay at the incline against his knees and thighs.

  “I’m sorry amatus,” Dorian tried to smooth out the hand and the shocked muscles as Cullen breathed heavily.

  “I…how did we end up here?” Cullen asked him as he looked around. Rengar came into view to watch.

  “You had another attack is all, you had fallen through the trees. You’re lucky you didn’t break a wing,” Dorian patted his cheek.

  “Your cheek is bleeding,” Cullen had looked up at him and noticed the trickles of blood.

  “Am I?” Dorian wiped the back of his hand against the cheek and brought it away to observe the blood. “Hm, look at that, I must have hit a branch when I came down,” he shrugged and wiped his hand in the snow before he took more snow to clean the area.

  “I can heal that for you…if you’d like,” Rengar offered quietly, looking between the two of them.

  “I should like that,” Dorian nodded.

  “If it’s alright with the Commander?” Rengar looked to him.

  “Of course,” Cullen nodded and winced with the motion. He brought his hand up the shield his eyes as Rengar came over to kneel and use his magic on Dorian. The wound disappeared quickly and Dorian smiled to him gently in thanks. Rengar used some snow to gently wipe away the excess blood.

  “I…apologize for lashing out,” the Inquisitor told them. “It’s…just, it’s—“ Dorian stopped him from going on when he saw the pain.

  “It’s alright Ren, I forgive you and I’m sorry as well. Perhaps we can all act like civil men and get over this? Perhaps over a bottle of fine wine?” Dorian suggested them which made the other two chuckle in their knowledge of Dorian and his fine wines.

  “Yes, perhaps we could,” Rengar nodded down to Cullen before he sighed. “How do you feel Commander?” he asked.

  “Give me a couple more minutes and I’ll be able to kick your ass again,” Cullen said but he grinned with the jest to the Inquisitor.

  “You wish,” Rengar chuckled.

  “I wonder if I could convince you two in a threesome with—“

  “No, absolutely not!” Cullen stopped him. “I can barely handle you! Let along the Lord Inquisitor! And _Maker_! What would everyone say!? They’d all be talking about it! Absolutely not!” he freaked out and tried to sit up. Dorian grabbed him and made him lay down again even through his embarrassment.

  “Given the Commander’s quick response, let’s let that rest a while, shall we?” Rengar looked to Dorian with a grimace. Dorian chuckled and patted Cullen’s shoulder out of reassurance before he bent down to kiss his forehead and send another soothing spell through him. Cullen visibly relaxed and closed his eyes with the kiss. “He needs you…doesn’t he?” Rengar asked Dorian quietly when it was apparent that Cullen was asleep for the time being.

  “I need him just as much as he needs me,” Dorian looked to him sorrowfully. “You remember the nightmares?” he asked.

  “Of course, how could I forget those blood curdling screams of yours?” Rengar winced. Dorian sighed and looked down to Cullen; his hands on his shoulders, fingers touching the bare skin of his neck.

  “He stops them…” he said, “I don’t know why but whenever I sleep—sleep, sleep, not just…you know, sex,” Dorian looked to Rengar who nodded with understanding, “whenever I sleep with him, I dream of nothing and it is pure ecstasy, Ren. I wish you could experience it the way I do, to feel nothing as I sleep. To know that I won’t wake up the entire camp screaming, to know that I won’t be haunted…it’s a beautiful thing,” he smiled mournfully. “I need him just as much as he needs me,” Dorian shook his head.

  “And…” Rengar started, “I…never stopped them?” he asked, looking hopefully.

  “I’m sorry,” Dorian said before he shook his head. “There was a time or two but…every single time I’ve been with Cullen…the world just whisks away and it’s bliss. I regret that I didn’t feel that way with you, honest,” he looked away and down to Cullen who was twitching in his nap.

  “I’m sorry too,” Rengar nodded. “I hope…I mean…I wish the best for you and he, I really do. I will be angry for a time so I do apologize if something happens. I will try to respect your wishes, for the sake of you and he,” he nodded again.

  “I truly appreciate that Ren, you are a noble man even if you are from the Free Marches,” Dorian smirked at him and the age old joke. Rengar shot him a look but he chuckled all the same.

  “Don’t forget Pavus, we were related somewhere down our ancestry, that makes you just as much of an ass!” Rengar grinned.

  “How dare you insult me!” Dorian pretended as if he were offended but laughed. Cullen started to come around, this time, less groaning and pain was involved. Dorian watched him wake to be sure that the pain had finally subsided. He could pin point Cullen’s movements and mannerisms to the letter now, when he took to studying something he would not quit until he’d mastered it all. It seemed that Cullen was feeling much better which was all Dorian wanted for the man, he smiled gently down at him and patted the furred shoulder affectionately. Cullen took in a deep breath before he looked over to the side and squinted.

  “Dorian…” Cullen started.

  “Yes?”

  “Did you really have to light a fire?” Cullen looked up at him; Dorian gave a cheeky grin and bent down to kiss his forehead again.

  “You know me amatus, desert orchid and all,” he chuckled. Cullen smiled at him in return; he was clearly on the mend once more.

  “So,” Rengar interrupted, the two looked to him, “how frequent are these Lyrium headaches?”

  “Not so frequent any longer,” Cullen nodded. “It’s…usually more stress now…” he looked away. He felt unfit for his duty but knew that there was no one else who could perform like he could in his line of work. He would trust Cassandra with it, but she had her own job in Skyhold.

  “I see,” Rengar nodded. “So…say that Corypheus were to descend upon us now and you stressed, what would happen? Dorian couldn’t be around to save you all the time,” he asked his honest question. Cullen wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to it, he hadn’t really thought of it to be honest. He always assumed that he would be ready for battle when the time came; he never thought that Lyrium withdrawals would be this intense.

  “The Commander has been healing nicely with my work. Had I not started the treatment, he surely would have failed,” Dorian spoke up. Cullen cringed at the wording but he had to silently thank the mage for at least speaking for him. “It may not be a cure, but the withdrawals are much further apart than they used to be. I predict within a few weeks, there will hardly be a headache to be had,” he nodded with another pat to Cullen’s shoulder. “We should head back if Cullen is ready for flight?” Dorian looked down at him.

  “To be honest, I’ve enjoyed the rest,” Rengar said quietly before standing up to move away from him. Cullen did his best to sit up with Dorian’s encouragement. He flipped to his hands and knees before he pushed himself up into standing. Dorian kept a hand close by in case he needed it or lost his balance but Cullen only smiled at him in appreciation. The mage kept close, observing every movement and catching every breath of the Commander to be certain that his job was finished for the time being.

  “Dorian, you don’t need to fuss over me so much,” Cullen told him quietly with a smile. He leaned forward to peck the tanned cheek softly to show that he was indeed okay. Dorian huffed at him, disbelieving, but he didn’t press the matter.

                Soon, the women were back with their scouts and the party was off again towards Skyhold. Rengar still lead the pack but this time, Cullen flew near Dorian in the middle, or rather it was Dorian who kept close to Cullen even though he warned him not to fuss again. Dorian ignored the threat and simply smiled at him as they flew back. Cullen noted that Rengar seemed to be a slow flyer, he wondered if he just wasn’t as practiced since the man hardly flew at all. Cullen thought back to when Rengar would always dismiss his flight tactics and battle maneuvers for riding on horseback or walking, it would always anger the Commander. Cullen attempted to keep his cool during the meetings of the war council but some days it was harder than others. The Inquisitor always seemed to want to do things the hard way or the slow way, meanwhile, Corypheus was flying around on his dragon or whatever it was, and taking over the Templars. Cullen eased the angry thoughts from his mind when they finally made it back to Skyhold. The group landed with a sigh, Leliana let her scouts go as they all walked in towards the Great Hall.

  “I will retire for the day, if anyone should need me, I’ll be in my quarters,” Rengar told Cassandra, the woman nodded to him and the group watched him leave. Dorian seemed to show concern for him and Cullen wondered why, the man was fully able to take care of himself.

  “So…” Cullen spoke softly to Dorian, trying to keep the conversation inconspicuous best he could. Dorian looked to him and smirked.

  “Yes darling?” Dorian grinned back, equally as quiet.

  “You said something about my nest being more comfortable?” Cullen grinned and Dorian bit his lip ever so slightly.

  “Mm, I do recall saying something like that,” he nodded.

  “Shall we?” Cullen turned to head out. He was going to walk but quickly stopped to prevent himself from running over the dwarf.

  “Curly! Sparkler! You’re back!” Varric smiled up to them, it was a wicked grin indeed.

  “Uh, yeah,” Cullen rubbed the back of his neck as he refolded his wings from his scare.

  “Did you enjoy your time away?” Varric wiggled his eyebrows at them suggestively.

  “Not now Varric,” Cullen was going to push him away, Dorian was simply enjoying the interaction.

  “Ah-ha! Not so fast Curly!” Varric stepped in front of him to stop him. “Unfortunately, due to your absence, your paperwork has piled quite high on your desk! It would be a shame if you didn’t get a head start on that before the day is up…” he grinned that wicked smile, Cullen was beginning to hate the dwarf.

  “Ah, indeed,” Cullen nodded, “then I shall implore Dorian’s help with it!” he looked to the mage who scoffed at him.

  “Paperwork? Darling, you know I adore you but _Maker_ , paperwork?” he shook his head.

  “Dorian…” Cullen growled through gritted teeth, trying to suggest that they weren’t actually going to do any paperwork but the mage was too content to play with him.

  “Yes darling?” Dorian asked instead. Cullen sighed deeply and rubbed his face with his hand.

  “Fine, fine! I’ll go do the damn paperwork! Happy now?!” Cullen snapped at them before he walked around Varric to storm out of the castle and to his nook. Dorian had to snicker at his lover as he watched him leave. He looked down to Varric with a smile.

  “You’re a cheat, you know that?” he asked the dwarf.

  “I couldn’t just stand there and let you have all the fun with him, now could I?” Varric chuckled. “Have fun trying to beat the stress out of him this time!”

  “Oh, I indeed will,” Dorian said quietly with a smirk. Varric made a disgusted sound and waved the mage off as he left to his stoked fire with a smile and shake of his head. Dorian grinned and went back to his room to freshen himself up first. After that was accomplished, he headed out to Cullen’s office where he would find the Commander knee-deep in paperwork. As much as he wanted to ravish the man and continue what had been cut off that morning, he did help him sort out the work and then tease him about it when they were nearly finished in the latter part of the day. Dorian would sit on the desk and try to preen the man as he worked, it only agitated the Commander until finally he let go of his steam. He and Dorian found themselves in his nest that was piled high with pillows on top of soft straw and a firm stick base. Dorian did ravish the Commander like he’d promised himself he’d do when they were back home. What a lovely thought it was, back home with his Commander, his lover, his.


End file.
